Mi Solecito: Top Golf - trying to improve my swing

I don't know how to play golf. There was one time about six years ago that a friend of mine showed up at my house with a pair of brand new golfing shoes for me and whisked me away to the golf course for a lesson. I tried to learn. I really did. But I was distracted by the golf cart and a couple of beers. He didn't try to teach me again. Needless to say, I still have the shoes. They're brand new, hiding away in their box in a closet at my mom's house.

I bring this up because I always consider sending for my shoes when I go to Top Golf - to distract people from the fact that I am not the best at hitting a little ball with a stick.

The picture above is from the grand opening of the San Antonio location. We didn't get to play that time since it was ridiculously crowded, but we were able to watch some of the San Antonio Spurs players enjoy themselves. That kinda made up for it. I guess. Everything does looks more fun at night, no?

For those of you that have never been, Top Golf is an entertainment venue much like a bowling alley except that instead of bowling you play golf. There are targets on the field, and you score points every time your golf ball goes into the target. It's all computerized so you don't have to worry about keeping score.

That ^ is the Austin location. They all look the same.

As you can probably tell, I've been to this beloved golfer's paradise several times. However, I never quite seem to improve. Apparently, when I swing, it looks like I have a dead arm. I don't bend it properly or something like that. I defended my arm and my swing until I saw a video. It was less than ideal. I blame it on that golf lesson I had six years ago!

My last attempt to better my swing was at the Houston location with my family.

It was a bright and sunny day.

I was ready to prove myself to the world. "Yes, let's play!", I thought. After all, my only competition was my family and most of them had never played before.

Before starting, though, we needed sustenance. It was time for brunch! I recently discovered that I like chicken and waffles. How very Southern of me, no? That and a mimosa was all I needed to get energized.

After getting settled in the comfy couches and logging in our information, we were ready to pick our clubs and get started.

This was a very important step. All of us were a bit attached to our clubs.

I started off playing like a champ. All of my hits landed right where I wanted them. I was tied for first place; I was very excited!

Then someone complemented me on my swing, and I started missing the ball. I hit it onto the net. I might have bounced it off of the dispenser a few times too.

Thankfully, none of our fellow top golfers were hurt!